Be your own best friend, they say-By Sonal Jain

Friendship truly is the most satisfactory, endearing, and accepting relationship. Friendship is both an effortless relationship but also a relationship that needs effort. Friends are the family you get to choose and if you do it right, life becomes a fun ride.

It is hard to get through life without having good friends around. But what if the power of friendship over-powers the real you? 

The positive side of Real Friendships-

Best motivators- 

The friends you chose need to be your biggest motivators. Real friends help you get through the testing times. There can be no space for jealousy in friendships and a real friend is constantly motivating you. 

When one finds the true motivators in life, every individual gets a confidence boost, is ready to take a risk, and is calm during failures. 

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Biggest critique- 

A real friend is always honest with opinions, advice, and behavior. Appreciations are important but fake appreciations are disastrous. If you are a true friend, you must be the biggest critique and want your friend to improve. 

On the other hand, accepting criticism from a friend should always be taken in a good spirit. If you get offended by it, that friend is not your true friend, or you do not deserve a true friend who is honest with you. 

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Trust and confidence- 

These two emotions come after a long time. They are not easy to achieve because many of your decisions will rely on the authenticity of these two emotions. But that does not mean you do not try to achieve it. Begin placing your trust and confidence in a friend who cares for you and your decisions, who helps you better every day, who is straightforward with you. 

There are times when your trust and confidence in a friend might fall, but that is the whole point. How big was the failure? Can it be fixed? Are we over-reacting? All these aspects need to be taken into consideration because building friendships is hard and maintaining them is harder. In times like today, friendships have tuned fragile, and they break easily. Such friendships deny the whole essence of this relationship.

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Accepting in nature- 

Good friends know you and your personality in and out. They accept you with your flaws and applaud you for your talents. In a friendship, two people can be completely different from each other. There might be nothing in common and yet that friendship can bloom differently. That is the beauty of friendship. You learn to adapt to each other’s personalities and accept reality.

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Family away from family- 

This is a great example of how friendship can play various roles in our life. A friend plays all roles as the situation demands. Cares for you like a mother, advises you like a father, gives a shoulder to cry on like a sister, puts you first like a brother (Just random associations, these can vary). 

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The negative side of friendship-

There are always two sides to a coin. All positives have equal negatives, and it is important to find those loopholes as well. 

Jealousy is a reality- 

Jealousy is one of the factors that can destroy most relationships and friendships have not been able to escape it. No two people can remain, friends, if jealousy takes in stand in the friendship. If the person isn’t happy with your success, do not consider them a friend. 

Likewise, if you want to be known as a real friend, never let jealousy overpower you and your relationship. Wishing well for the other person in any situation is a sign of a good friend. 

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One-sided conversation- 

Every friendship needs equal efforts from both sides. There are times when only one person is constantly trying to keep up with the friendship. Such friendships lead to degrading in one’s mental health and it is better to move away from such friendships.

As a basic human emotion, every person has different expectations and one-sided friendship always lets you down. So, moving away is easier than getting strangled in a one-sided friendship. 

Speaking of the negative side of friendship there is one very important aspect of friendship we always forget to talk to about. The aspect I am talking about is being your own best friend, irrespective of being surrounded by people whom you called friends. 

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Are you your own best friend?

Today I decided to speak on this topic because being your own best friend is another kind of effort you need to make. Many times, we are so busy maintaining our friendships that we forget to maintain the same relationship with ourselves. In friendships, it is very common to lose your own identity and trying hard to seek attention from people around you. 

How many times have you depended on people around you for motivation or advice without trying to do it yourself? There is no harm in expecting all these emotions from a friend but depending on them is wrong. The time when they fail to live up to your expectations someday can turn out to be disastrous for you. The dependency by then will become so deep that without their support moving on can get difficult. 

You are lucky if you have a friend for a lifetime with you but the only person who is permanent in your life is YOU. Make yourself a priority, spend time with yourself to understand better, and become your own best friend. Remember not to forget who you are while trying to juggle between your friendship and your identity. 

How have I learned it the hard way? 

As a teenager, all of us are entirely dependent on people around us who we consider a friend. But as we grow up, things change, priorities change, and people change. At every stage of life, you meet new people and sometimes lose touch with people who were with you since the beginning. It is not anybody’s fault here; it is the times we live in. Everything is on the internet, careers have become more important, and time runs faster than ever.  

In my case, I’ve changed cities very often and made friends every time. Categorically I tried my best and my friends tried their best to keep in touch throughout the distance, but that is not always possible. After a point, everyone gets busier as the day pass, and no one is to be blamed. 

It is hard to keep up the friendship from a distant place. In such situations, being your own best friend is the only option left. You cannot be dependent on people for decisions. Time waits for none, and you are no special. 

Expecting people to always be there for you can be a little overwhelming. You are lucky if your old friends are in touch with you and are ready to understand that not speaking very often is a part of life now but being as humble as possible when you decide to have a conversation. Such friendships are always desirable and applaudable. 

Importance of Being your own best friend

Where there is no one around you, it is important for you to work doubly hard to stay with yourself. 

To help yourself better, make mistakes and learn, celebrate little wins, cry on your own shoulders and get up again after you fall. 

Let everyone leave one by one, but never leave your own side. 

The above case is for vice-versa too. You cannot be that one person on whom everyone can depend. It is important to take that load off because the day you will not be able to fill the responsibility, that day will be a setback for both, you and the person depending on you. 

If you care about someone and find a fault in their behavior towards being super dependent on you, help them learn the importance of being their own best friend. This is the best help you can do for a friend, and it makes you a real friend. a