How to overcome your fears? Hardships | Struggle | Victory - by Sonal Jain

What is the first thing that came to your mind when you read this topic? Maybe she is talking about fear of heights or water or adventure or closed space and so on. But today I am going to talk about the fear of being judged. On the contrary, I am always up for adventures. I don't fear being underwater for hours or doing a quick round of zipline in the mountains or climbing up for the craziest rides in water and amusement parks. 

Zipline Adventure

But what feared me was what would people think if I post my picture on my Instagram public account. Funny right? but it is actually true. So how did I overcome this fear? Let's find out. 

My public account on Instagram only had pictures clicked by me be it travel pictures, landscapes, product photography, and portraits of other people but what it did not have was any post that had me in it. I have always been reluctant to post a picture or a video on a public account that has me in it. 

Today all those who want to build a good profile related to travel always post pictures that have them enjoying their trips. But for me this was far-fetched. This incident in my life speaks a lot about how under-confident I have been and how difficult it was to finally come out of this bubble.

So, I am going to elaborate on what helped me overcome my fears and why all this while I have been sacred to share anything on the public page that has me in it.

How did it all start?

I was an obese child since childhood. It was all because of heredity in the family. During my growing years, I started growing more obese. As a child, when you discover the world layer by layer, you often find some pleasing things and some very disheartening things. 

I was constantly in fear of being judged for my actions, body language, and sometimes even thoughts and yet would hold my head high up and move on. This is when you have a hard time overcoming your fears. 

Overcame body image fears

The journey of an obese child or a skinny child is almost the same, mentally draining. We fight to overcome fears every single day and struggle every day to find our true selves. Most times you surpass that negative arena, but there are times when it hits you hard and these are the days you need special motivation to re-build your self-love. 

It takes you time to realize that obesity is not right because of health issues it may bring and not denying it, it is true. So even if you want to change the way you look, it should be only based on what future health would look like and not what people think about you. I tried to overcome my fears in numerous ways which I shall tell in detail.

How did I cope with my fears as a child?

As I recollect, I have never been a lazy or an under-confident person even during my schooling years. I was my true best friend even when nobody was around. Many times you see people passing harsh thoughts right to your face including people who are close to you but those are the testing times which test your willpower and your love for yourself.   

I have been a part of dance competitions, drama, or play in school, even sports initially. 

What kept me going all through the schooling years is that I had some good people around me. I was never subjected to body shaming in any way when I came to my friends in school. I have changed 3 cities and 4 schools, but I remember never coming home crying only because someone body shammed me. So, it goes without saying, having a good friends circle is important. They truly are your support system in school so make sure they are a strong one.

Dance competition 

   

Yes, I tried skates

Skiing in Gulmarg

I have never held myself back when I came to participating in any competition, functions, or learning new things. There were times things did not seem easy because of my body weight but I would give it a try. We tried skiing in Kashmir, skating in my colony, dance competitions in school, and participating in annual functions. Eventually, I have learned to take a joke on myself. I have had many mishaps in public but it is all a part of life and everyone goes through it. This has been a game-changer for me. I always believed in making mistakes and learning from them. 

One of the most special incidents in school was when I twice played the role of Santa Claus in the school assembly and I always thought it was because of how I looked and so I well-fitted the role. But then I changed my own thoughts and tried to see a positive side of it. I said to myself, you got to play a very important role. Something everyone craves in school. Looks like everyone ended up loving my acting eventually. 

It is all in our minds until we give it a positive outlook. Yes, sometimes things can get worse, and coping is difficult but, in the end, you are your own motivation to get out of it. 

How did I overcome my fear? 

Recent advancement in my life has been overthrowing my own inhibitions into the dustbin and posting my own pictures on the public page. I have always been an admirer of social media and the internet. It can be used in so many positive ways if needed. But I always feared being judged for doing anything on a public account. But over the last few months things have changed for the better and how. 

Happiest around water

Touristy 

Things changed when I explored the world of social media a little. Many more things changed when I took the first step from behind the camera and tried to come right in front of it. People around also played an important part because they hyped me well and took my pictures

 

So many people out there are trying to create content without fearing any judgments. That is when I decided I need to stop demeaning my own self and start posting things that I always wanted to post. Life has changed after that, now I post things that please me, and here are the results. I changed my own perspective because it was all in my mind. 

A Note to Myself-

One thing that did not change at all is my love for the water. I can sit around any water body for hours just admiring it. Fun fact, in spite of all my fears, I did not stop getting clicked. It is just that it could never make it to my public account even after I wished to make it a travel account for real. 

But now I think there is no going back. This will continue forever without any inhibitions. Overcome your fears to find your true self. Once you do that, you are never going back. 

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